What’s All the Fuss About?

15 Sep

Rape Analogy: What it's like to report a rape

I read a lot of comments about the Slutwalk move happening across the world. Many people said, “Well who is for rape?! No one except rapists! Who would ever blame a woman for her own rape?”

Perhaps I have a dark sense of humor (I do) but this was hysterically funny to me because this is exactly what it’s like.

I’ve just read someone’s post on Tumblr.com that made a good point. When someone is different from the rest of society, people feel an urge to ask invasive questions. Like, if someone is transgendered they asked about their genitals. “Have you had surgery?” and anything that stems off of that (I’m trying not to be crass here). If someone is gay they ask about their sex life. As a straight woman, no one ever comes out and asks me, “Hey April, by the way, how many partners have you had? Why didn’t you go for girls? You don’t like the cooch, eh?” Oy.

Especially when someone is bisexual, people assume a lot of things. Jokes are funny. We tell jokes to ease tension but also jokes reveal a nugget of truth about the way people think. Often people say, “Oh bisexual people can’t make up their mind! They get everything don’t they?” Or they assume they’re slutty.

Not that there is anything wrong with being slutty (i.e. completely comfortable with exploring people sexually) but we know what negative connotations that comes with…

To me, bisexuality means an individual is attracted to men and women and also has, or is, willing to pursue a relationship with either a man or woman. That’s all it means.

Ah, you know, it’s good to make jokes. I make inappropriate jokes and stereotype too, all I’m suggesting is, let’s not take it too far, shall we? I mean, lets behave respectfully toward each other. It’s fine to ask questions. I think it’s great! Just show you care about their privacy and value them as a person. It’s so easy, kindly say, “I have some questions but I don’t want to intrude on you. Is it okay to ask?” Something like that. So simple.

Manners, people. It ain’t for the old.


2 Responses to “What’s All the Fuss About?”

  1. Amanda Papenfus September 15, 2011 at 6:35 am #

    haha I like that bit how no one asks how many partners you’ve had and why you don’t go for girls. So true. It does seem to be sort of a cultural thing, when people are different than us. On hand it’s good, if people want to understand different people, but I agree people should be respectful. We were in a restaurant once and my husband asked if they had a military discount. The girl said they did, then after bringing the bill said sorry she was wrong they didn’t. Then she started off her questions “So, have you ever killed anyone?” Oi.

    • April Lee September 15, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

      Oh my gosh! I went out on a date with someone who served in Iraq for 9 months. The cab driver found out (we were on our way to a concert) and asked him, “So how many people did you kill?” My heart stopped and my eyes went wide.. That’s not okay. Thats a sensitive subject. Don’t randomly ask people things like that. Its not like asking “So how many siblings do you have.” Sheesh. I know what you mean.

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