Feminist Tyson, Rape Manuals & Texas Justice

20 Jun

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Oy vey. So much going on in the news: a 15 year old girl is told to cover up by a TSA agent, a man was acquitted by a jury even though he killed an escort in Texas, there is a rape manual on kickstarter, and Tyson is a feminist?

This is madness.

The story about the man who was acquitted by a Texas jury, even though he murdered an escort, is something everyone has been talking about. The jury took 11 hours, split over two days, to decide whether or not to convict him. He would have faced a life sentence in jail. Admittedly, I’m not always sure what the correct punishment is for people. I am not a believer that jail solves things. I do think it is sometimes necessary. I also  know our prisons are overrun and run for profit much of the time. I hope this man has to go through serious counseling, at the very least and serves some kind of time for something. I don’t know what the clear answer is here.

But that he was found NOT guilty because under Texas law, he had a right to shoot her because she had stolen his property: either his money or HER vagina..

That’s what gets to me. This is wrong. This is flat out wrong.
You do not have the RIGHT to shoot an escort because she chose not to have sex with you. No, you don’t. You.. DON’T. I don’t know if he had the intent to kill–likely not. Maybe he meant to seriously harm but not kill (not that it matters in my book). I don’t think most people are sociopaths (that’s 4% of our population). I don’t think most people mean to do a LOT of things they do but they do them and they should be punished adequately. What I do think happened is this man was raised in a culture where it is okay to shoot people whenever he feels he hasn’t gotten what he wanted. That is clear because the jury supported him. This woman did not pose a threat to him. She did not break into his house, with a gun or any other weapon, threaten him, etc.. He lost money. He shot her over $150.

But the reasons.. the reasons for which her death was justified by the jury not convicting him? I.. I am at a loss for words. How is that anyone can claim you have a right to shoot someone because they won’t give you their vagina?

At any point in time, businesses have a right to refuse service. What he should have done instead of SHOOTING her was finding a way to get his money back. He clearly didn’t understand what an escort is and paid thinking the service was something else (prostitution).  Okay, so he was upset he didn’t get the service he paid for (though not one she offers,clearly). You cannot SHOOT people because you are pissed you didn’t get the service you thought you would.

Why.. why is this any different? Oh right because it’s about sex and women’s bodies and people still think you can possess them whenever you want. That you can own people. And is that so surprising in a world where slavery STILL exists?

This blows my mind. Really. I don’t know what else I can say about it that anyone else hasn’t already said.

To the TSA agent who shamed a young girl in public for her clothes (reminds me of the University student who wrote a letter to the girl about what she was wearing, that it was distracting and she should protect the men around her):

There are some things you should keep to yourself. That comment was one of them. If you are uncomfortable with the way she was dressed, it is not up to you to embarrass her. If she was being rude or upsetting people around her, I could understand why you might want to speak up and correct her behavior but you have ZERO right to tell her what she can and cannot wear.

That is up to her parent. Not you. So zip it.

It came to my attention yesterday that there is.. a rape manual seeking support on Kickstart. Of course, that isn’t what the authors calls it but the exerts on Reddit clearly lay it out for anyone to read. I quote:

“All the greatest seducers in history could not keep their hands off of women. They aggressively escalated physically with every woman they were flirting with. They began touching them immediately, kept great body language and eye contact, and were shameless in their physicality. Even when a girl rejects your advances, she KNOWS that you desire her. That’s hot. It arouses her physically and psychologically.”

“Decide that you’re going to sit in a position where you can rub her leg and back. Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.”

Sex

Pull out your cock and put her hand on it. Remember, she is letting you do this because you have established yourself as a LEADER. Don’t ask for permission, GRAB HER HAND, and put it right on your dick.”

Wow. Just..

(crickets) (blink).. (blink)…

This is dangerous and I’m glad it’s being talked about. There is a difference between being dominant and being an aggressor. First rule: You ALWAYS ask for permission. Good grief. Always. Nothing gets past that.

You cannot be dominant toward someone you don’t know. You cannot be aggressive toward someone who hasn’t said that they liked it or it was okay.

This is immature masculinity. This is exactly what I spoke about in the radio show yesterday. We have to replace this with mature masculinity. There is no other option. You do not need to take in order to get something you want. If you do this, if we practice this, we will keep violence in our societies.

What people repeatedly miss about dominance is that you can only take something that has been given to you. Doing anything less than that makes you a predator, an aggressor, an assaulter. People get caught up in the romantic notion of “man grabs woman around waist because she says no but he knows.. she wants him.. because she kisses him passionately and slowly sinks down to her knees..” Lets stop there shall we? That is the picture this guy is painting. No is not a yes. I do understand that some people play that game of “come get me. I’m going to say no but I really just want you to chase me and pin me down and take me.” But that has to be discussed. It is NOT a default all women possess. You might luck out and it might be something she wants.. Or, you’re a rapist.

Is that something you want to risk?! I don’t! I don’t want to risk that.

Get the consent first, then play.

And by the way, the hand on the thigh or small of my back when I haven’t asked for it? Really creepy.. Really, really creepy. But the hand on my thigh or small of my back when I have given my consent to that person? Hawt.

Consent is sexy.

*****

Tyson a feminist. Well.. I’m not sure I’d call him a feminist (mainly because it is a little disconcerning to be called something when you haven’t said it yourself. It feels forced and pushed on you, you know?) but I do appreciate his recent insights into his humanity and community.

SLCFeminist is pretty upset Clutch Magazine recently called Mike Tyson a sort of feminist.

but one comment a feminist does not make. Danielles explains how she cannot, “condone his violent behavior, especially when it was directed toward women,” but she can understand,  ”how he got there.” Wait, what?! Ultimately, she tells the reader that, “Feminism seeks to ensure that all people, regardless of gender, are treated as equal human beings. And that’s what Mike Tyson wants–to be seen as human. It’s what we all want.” Fair enough, feminism advocates for fair treatment of human beings, but fair treatment of human beings doesn’t necessitate that feminists overlook a harried history of an abusive misogynist because he makes a few salient comments.

Well, that is true. Making a few enlightened comments doesn’t make anyone anything. When you identify with an idea, or belief, or focus, that is done with a lot of active work. So I agree with SLCFeminist. This doesn’t make him a feminist but his recent reflection does line up with feminist ideals. He said:

“We as people — men — in my experience, we are told we are superior to women, they come from our rib and this and that. That’s all our insecurity, to make us feel like someone, like a slave master. I’m so happy to reach a stage in my life, a paradigm shift. Everything I did believe was a goddamn lie.”

Read the rest of the article here. I think that is an awesome thing to come to terms with Mike. You’ve done quite a bit of damage and your self in the present is much better than the one before. I’m happy for that. I don’t know the details of the accusations against him as a rapist. I know he was convicted. Considering how hard it is to convict anyone of rape, I have a feeling he’s guilty. The evidence must have been pretty damn good. It’s clear you have a ways to go.

but at least you have a good start.. I guess.
Too bad it was so bad for so long..
But at least.. it sounds like you’re doing the right thing now. That’s all anyone could hope for.

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One Response to “Feminist Tyson, Rape Manuals & Texas Justice”

  1. amandapoverseas August 17, 2013 at 12:21 am #

    Wow..so much wow. I’ve been up all night and am not even sure I can intelligently comment on everything, so I’ll pick the rape manual. WTF? I do get that there are girls who play that I really want you to chase me game, but even then there is a difference between chasing and forcing. Any guy who decided he was going to take his dick out and put my hand on it after I’d specifically made it clear I wasn’t interested in doing so wouldn’t like what happened to it.

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