Tag Archives: blurred lines

Changed My Mind About Blurred Lines

29 Jan

So.. That’s embarrassing, isn’t it?

Well, I think it’s better to have a real discussion rather than pretending I understood the outrage over the song Blurred Lines. It really did skip over me that “blurred lines” had anything to do with drugging her. I’m the WORST at knowing about drug references. I didn’t catch that for a while. Also, I have a habit of.. well, just.. being a bit naive about bad intentions. It doesn’t matter how “aware” I am of things, sometimes even the most obvious stuff runs right past me without me catching it.

Really and truly, I thought the song was about not being able to cross over those lines because had a boyfriend. I kept focusing on the relationship part.. rather than the “I’m just going have sex with you one way or another” part. That’s rape. The drug reference blew it wide open for me. Then I could see it. 

I talked about this a LOT with friends.. it just didn’t make any sense to me. But about a week after my post I changed my mind about the song. 

And promptly forgot to write another post about it here 🙂

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Blurred Lines: She Wants It?

1 Oct

Blurred Lines

So there’s this song that’s been getting a lot of attention: “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke. When I first heard it, I loved it. I mean, I turned the stereo up or stopped whatever I was doing to go out on the dance floor. All I ever heard was “I know you want” and something about good girls. The beat took over everything else.

Since I heard the outcry against the song, and watched the parody. Which I also thought was funny and then it was confusing because sometimes when people make a point.. just.. *sigh* Whatever. So lets move on, right? But then I read this post against the outcry against the song. Then there was this video of teenagers responding to the song. The responses were mixed: confusion, irritation, jaws dropped but mainly confusion.

Hey, I’m right there with you.

The most common response was: If this were a feminist song (as Robin Thicke claims), then this video would be different. It would be respectful.

But what the HELL does that mean? What does respect mean? What does respect toward women mean? The knee-jerk reaction is “women who respect themselves keep their clothes on” or “if that man respected that woman, he wouldn’t need to take her clothes off.”

And then.. there are the lyrics which didn’t initially bother me. Even the “I know you want it,” the classic line that every R&B song I grew up with has in it, didn’t throw me into a tizzy. And that’s one of the lines in the song that pisses a lot of people off. Perhaps my desensitization is because it is a line that’s in many songs. The people who are swatting away the angry commotion with the excuse, “But it’s just a pop song and it’s not like pop songs are ever high quality” aren’t doing us any favors. But I also feel that sigh with them.

Then there was this post: a mix of the song lyrics and real words spoken to sexual assault victims/survivors by their rapists. Currently, I feel that is pushing the line of connections. Though I can certainly understand it and see the point being put out there.. That these words “I know you want it” and the woman in question is being called a “good girl” inviting the “madonna/whore” complex all over again. And then there’s the title of the song, “Blurred lines.” When I finally went to read the song lyrics, I had a different reaction than I anticipated. So many people were upset about the song that I thought I would be too.

So first, I’ll say this: the song is definitely degrading but does it invite rape culture? I’m not convinced.

It’s degrading because he doesn’t care about her relationship. He doesn’t care to support her in keeping it. In a nutshell, he thinks cheating is perfectly fine and he’s doing his damndest to convince her of that. That’s the most disrespectful part of the song (that and Pharrell’s lyrics. DAMNIT PHARRELL! I’m such a fan. Stop being a dick). The rap portion of the song is obnoxious and typical masculine arrogance. I hate it when women are called bitches in a context of “thing,” like bitches are something to have. Well, in that case, you can kindly fuck yourself and.. really, I mean just that.

But it is NOT degrading for the many reasons that have people up and arms: “You’re a good girl,” “I know you want it.” Here, read it for yourself:

I know you want it
You’re a good girl
Can’t let it get past me
You’re far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted
[Pharell:] Everybody get up
I hate these blurred lines
I know you want it
I hate them lines
I know you want it
I hate them lines
I know you want it
But you’re a good girl
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me

When I read the title “Blurred Lines,” it is now put into a context of “I hate the relationship lines. You can’t do anything even though you want to and damn I wish you would.” It does not say to me, “I’m gonna have sex with you whether you want it or not.” The song is talking about cheating, not rape. But if you chose to solely focus on specific lyrics, then yeah, you could say he was talking about rape. But that doesn’t include the context which is sorely needed.

I don’t agree that talking about spanking and hair pulling is degrading. When we say “we wanna get nasty” or “be an animal in bed,” our default thought is spanking and hair pulling. To some people, these phrases can mean only that or mean more than that, but generally those two things are the first actions we think of. I will agree with one of the bloggers (who made the mistake of calling herself a feminist and not a Feminist), that this is total slut shaming. DUDE. STOP. TELLING PEOPLE HOW TO FUCK IN BED. SERIOUSLY. If we wanted that, we’d let Virginia’s insane attempt to pass a law against oral sex happen. Just.. UGH. It’s not up to you to decide what is grading for one person or another. It’s a sensation and when done with a partner who is excellent in communication and loves you, it’s a good thing. It’s not a terrible thing to submissive, you know. So long as it is a choice and no one spent time convincing the person to be spanked. This is the kind of nonsense that makes it difficult for word Feminist to be taken seriously.

And the one thing that would make this song a completely rapey song that he didn’t say? Don’t pretend like you didn’t want it or something along those lines. Instead, it’s a song about a douchey guy who is willing to encourage a woman to cheat on her boyfriend. And calls women bitches, like we’re things to have. The encouraging to cheat part, that’s what gets me. Why are relationships not respected? *sigh* Sad.

Or is it because the song is coming from a male that we just automatically dismiss it any of the possibilities labeled above and label it as degrading? Or, am I completely missing the boat on this one? Please share your thoughts and comments! I’d love to talk it out. Opinions can change. For now, this is my thought.

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