Two years ago in November I went to the Everything To Do With Sex Show in Toronto. It’s an annual event I highly recommend attending (it’s a tour throughout Canada and also makes a stop in LA. Check the link for tour dates). I saw all kinds of things, most of which I don’t remember. What I do remember is how overwhelming huge it was (that’s what she said) and the giant inflatable penis I took a picture with. It was too funny.
I saw glass dildos and wooden dildos for the first time. I asked the wood dildo crafter (what else do you call them?) “Why would anyone buy a wooden dildo and not glass one? Wouldn’t you get splinters?” No, he said. It has that coating over it to protect it. It’s light and safe in water. I’ll never forget what he pointed out about glass dildos. “Sometimes, sometimes, they can break if you heat them up and cool them down a lot.” Revulsion and terror ran through my body thinking about what that must be like. That was the conversation I thought of when reading this story. It doesn’t state she was using a glass dildo… just the thought of something inside destroying.. Anyway, read the story.
A few weeks ago, I read Mistress Matisse’s column, “Control Tower” in The Stranger. Here is what she said:
“In that worldview, women are assigned value based on appearance. We may get a low score or a high one, but we can’t opt out.
Now, it’s sexy to be objectified when you want to be.
Performing a stylized female sexiness on chosen occasions is both a gift to a lover and a narcissistic pleasure.
Trying to be a sex bomb all the time, however, is tiring, expensive, and hard on anyone’s self-esteem.
That pressure creates some female resentment of men, because men aren’t expected to do the same.”
But it’s more accurate to say we don’t allow them to.”
Touche Mistress, touche.
I was dragged to a Chippendale show in Reno eight years ago. I scoffed at the idea and about half-way through the show until I saw someone I thought was super sexy. That made all the difference but the idea of men prancing around in a thong shaking their bottoms was ridiculous to me. You could’ve summed up my attitude with this: “That’s women’s work.” I know a lot of people will not agree with my opinion that objectification is not bad. Listen, I loooove looking at my man. I looooove looking at myself sometimes and whenever I go out on the town, I see women who are freaking HOT. I appreciate that! The truth is we objectify all the time. Objectification is bad when that’s all you’re summed up to be. Don’t lose sight that person is living, breathing and is as equally valuable as you are, as are all living things.
But the idea of objectifying men? Weird.
I was shocked sitting in my anthropology class when I learned about males dancing sensually for women, to turn them on and lure them into their beds. They danced seductively. It was a difficult idea to understand but now that I’m a little older, a little more open, a little wiser.. I see that men just wanna shake up and fluff up their feathers for us too. We should let them.
And no, it doesn’t make them silly or gay. Just makes them a little flashy. It isn’t just women’s work, you know.