Sorry for the week of absence. Holiday weekend paired with an evil cold. Scratch that; two evil colds all because I have a difficult time resting (and who can resist beer!? Seriously?!) but now I’m back in the saddle..
Erm.. perhaps I should be careful with my words.
Last week I read a woman’s post about her husband cheating.. with her. She asked him to pretend she was someone he found very attractive. She asked him to talk to her like she was the other woman. She said, “He knew exactly what to say. He told me he had been jerking off and [having sex] with his wife while thinking of me.” She said he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea but went with her anyway because he’s used to her kinks.
Role playing certainly isn’t new. The pool boy, the teacher, the naughty school girl, the maid, etc. Those are generic characters to fantasize about and relatively “safe.” It gets a little more tricky when he begins to talk about his neighbor’s wife (Shh. Let’s not go there with the 10 Commandments).
Is it dangerous to rock the boat of a romantic relationship with a specific person in mind?
I’m not so sure it’s such a bad thing. It could be potentially very bad, which is obvious, but the first thing I see with this scenario is that she’s enjoying her husband’s enjoyment and they’re being very honest about fantasies they want to try.
The truth is people fantasize about someone other than their partner all the time. Someone they know, a celebrity, a character in a movie or a story, etc. It’s natural. We’re not monogamous creatures by nature, you know. We’re geared toward multiple partners but some of us, many of us, choose to commit to one (wonder where that came from? It feels nice though, doesn’t it? Do you think our longer life expectancy made this more difficult? Think thats why mid-life crisis is such an issue? Just throwin’ it out there. Nothing thought out).
I like the honesty in what they’re doing. I’m not sure why she was so turned on by the thought of him being with another woman behind her back but to each their own. I can say this; some of us use sexuality as a way to overcome fears. Maybe she just wanted to see how she’d feel.. maybe she wanted to give him room to feel like an animal. I’m not really sure but the idea is interesting.
Or perhaps a spade is just a spade. Maybe it’s hot because it’s wrong for her husband to do that and wrong for her to think it’s hot. Everyone has their thrill.